The Music Snob Interviews: Local Beantown Rocker

When it comes to interviews, everyone wants to score that one big fish. Your Jimmy Eat Worlds, your Bright Eyes, your Green Day, every interviewer wants to shoot for the stars. However, I personally think it’s important to start at the heart and soul of the music industry. The grassroots, the foundation, the essence of the music scene: The Local Bands! I sat down with Eric Landry, the bassist and vocalist for local punk band, Almost Untitled, and shot the breeze with him for a few to get his insight on the local scene, Kelly Osborne, and various other kinds of things.

N: For the record can you state your name, what you play, and the name of your band?

E: Eric Landry, bass and vocals for Almost Untitled

N: How long has the band been together?

E: Since august of 2003 so, about 7 months.

N: How do you know each other? Did you grow up together?

E: ok I’ve been friends with Ketta, the guitarist for a long time. He and I had a previous band which i’ll get to later. That band went belly up and we wanted to do a punk band instead. Ketta’s cousin, Steven Vaiani, plays drums and went to school at Berklee in Boston. Ketta asked Steven to play drums for us and he agreed. I knew Steven because both he and myself were ushers for Ketta’s wedding back in 2000.

N: Aww cute! Can you hold on? I need a pee and smoke break

E: Already?

N: Sorry I should have gone before I went..

(Hilarity ensues while I do my thang)

N: And I’m back! Did you miss me?

E: yes ๐Ÿ™

N: Aww ๐Ÿ™‚ Yay!

E: Is this going to be in the article?

N: Yes, yes it will. And I will be asking the questions around here! So who would you say are Almost Untitled’s main influences as well as your own personal influences?

E: Our primary influences would be the Ramones, Rancid and the Misfits. As for me, personally and professionally, I love Nirvana, Green Day, and the Ramones. Simple fact that they were Gods of the Punk and Rock and Roll scene but still remained human and approachable too!

N: Ahh, a man after my own heart! Do you think Courtney is somewhat responsible for Kurt’s death?

E: Personally I think she killed him and tried to make it a suicide. Why else would the very first lyrics from her first albums after his death me “oh make me over that’s all I wanna be a walking study in demonology”, then she tried to go for the goods from his band? I would have just left it to Dave Grohl and Kris Novoselic

N: I agree, she is a heartless bitch in my opinion. Anywho, tell me about your first band, what kind of music and how long were you together?

E: We formed in august of 1998 and were originally called American Thunder. We were a mix of John Mellencamp, 80’s metal and southern rock. We tried changing the name to American catastrophe until 9/11 happened. We ended up going back to Thunder until it disbanded in April of 2003 when the vocalist quit because he lost interest in the band, and he was backstabbing all of us 24/7

N: Which band did you enjoy playing with more?

E: Easily this band! With Thunder we were trying to write in a style that he could work with. It was tough trying to write songs. In four years in that band we only made like six or seven originals. With Untitled, all of us know what we wanna play and we write what we feel. Already we have 12 originals!

N: Do you play any covers?

E: we try to emphasize the originals, I mean, no one makes it big and stays big with merely covers! For fun and laugh though, we do some covers, primarily Green Day, Ramones, Rancid and the Misfits. We did rockaway beach in our first show and it went over great! Joey and Dee Dee would be happy!

N: Yeah, it’s a good one. I bet they’re smiling down on ya! So how many live shows have you done with Untitled since you started playing together?

E: Well, oddly enough, this past Friday march 26th we just had our first gig. We did another show at Curly’s Coffee Shop in Amherst NH in February because of spontaneity. Steven’s other Band “For Your Own Good” was playing that night and another band was running late. Steven approached the woman there and said his other band was available to play. So, with the help of other bands to gather equipment, we had a show on Feb. 13. We have another show booked at Curly’s April 24th and we might have one for 4/3 but it’s tentative right now.

N: Very cool. So let’s say there’s a musician, we’ll call her Tina, and she names her instruments. Do you think that’s weird, or have you named your bass as well?

E: Well, Tina isn’t as cuckoo for cocoa puffs as people might think. Obviously if she has an affection and admiration for something like that she’ll do something like name it to show how much she cares for it. Me personally I haven’t named any of my basses. If someone told me to give it a name or else they’ll blow my head off ill call it “blackie”..I don’t know. I did actually give my first car a name before it got into an accident and get demolished.

N: (Gives a sigh of relief) Well good! It’s nice to see a young man who takes pride in their possessions! What kind of basses do you have?

E: I have this black fender p-bass with all these stickers I have on it. it plays like (expletive deleted) cause one of the bridges is broken but I don’t wanna fix it. I keep it as a memento though and also a practice bass at my house. The one I play now is an Ibanez SR300DX — much lighter and easier to play. I can play a lot faster now

N: You can curse, my publication is pretty rad like that! Infact..what is your favorite curse word?

E: oh all right.. I don’t have one specific curse word I like. I try to use all of them on a constant basis. Oddly enough though, I try to keep from using that sorta fucking shit in my music. Well in case our stuff ever becomes big, i dont want half the words bleeped out on the radio. I mean I’m not Limp Bizkit or something.

N: Yeah, you sure aren’t. My readers are dying to know, does being in a band help you get chicks?

E: Well (chuckle), it certainly does help. From last Friday, a couple members of FYOG came by to show support for us and they brought a few of their goth chick friends as well. After our set I was shooting the breeze with them, thanking them for showing up the whole nine yards, and out of the blue one of them gives me this big ass hug and I wasn’t even asking for one. I’m not going to advertise myself after a show to have some girl get all cozy with me and shit. If it happens it happens you know. If it don’t, as long as everyone left the place with a smile on their faces from our set it’s all great gravy. Oh and by the way, for the record, did I mention one of the women hugged me?!

N: Dually noted. So let’s say you had an opportunity to play a show with some famous band, regardless of what kind of band they are, alive or dead, who would you play with?

A: Hmm…. I would have to say if they were dead, the Ramones … duh! If alive, maybe Metallica, circa 1988, during their “and justice for all” days, or Black Sabbath. Yah know, join Ozzy on stage for a rousing cover of paranoid. SHARON!!!!!!!!!!

N: If you had to have sex with Kelly Osborne, would you do it with a paper bag over her head or without?

E: Definitely with! If she had a better face, then without.

N: Well that’s pretty obvious. She’s heinous. So how do you feel about the music scene in Boston?

E: well it seems like there’s a lot of bands just bubbling in the pot. There’s a lot of good talent out there and I’m surprised that very few bands can actually go to California just to see if they make it. Without the base of a major label in the Boston area, bands have to suffer through long nights in clubs and bars for chump change. Any band from today that makes it from Massachusetts (Staind, Godsmack, etc.) either needs to relocate to NYC or LA to have people listen to them or they have to have connections in the business.

N Are there any other bands, asides from yours, from Boston that we should look into?

E: If you’re looking for a good band to mosh to and punch someone out I’d say The Hound. The friggin’ solos they pull off rival Kirk Hammett from Metallica. Steven’s other band For Your Own Good always impresses me. The energy that quintet exudes on a nightly basis cannot be matched. I’ve seen the vocalist almost pass out a few times. Maybe that’s why they bring the girls: to give him mouth to mouth. HAHAHA! For other talent, Jonee Earthquake always can put a laugh on your face. And he don’t overkill the jokes either. I’ve also heard great things about the Rydells, Meat Depressed, Paint the Town Dead, and the Numbskulls.

N: Well thank you for your time. Before I go I’ve got some very important pressing questions id like to ask you. If you were being sued in TV. court, who would you want to be your judge, Judge Judy, Judge Mathis, or Judge Reinhold?

E: I’d say judge Judy … I know for a fact she wont leave any stones unturned. she dont beat around the bush, but she wont overstep her bounds. ive seen her on TV a few times

N: What cartoon character do you find yourself the most attracted to?

E: Most attracted to? Well I’ve always thought Daphne from Scooby Doo was hot. I got a thing for redheads.

N: And lastly, on a scale of one to ten, how hot am I?

E: well um … ((nervous chuckle))

N: Just answer the question, may I remind you you’re under oath

E: I’m under oath? Where’s the Bible at?

N: Quiet you, never mind. Thank you Eric!

To check out Almost Untitled go to http://almostuntitled.cjb.net/.

Highlights from the Music Snob's Stash Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Hello darling readers! Put on your pith helmets and crack open the vault because it’s time for another exploration into the deep dark depth’s of yours truly’s music collection. Today I am highlighting three of my most beloved albums which I could not possibly live without.

“August and Everything”- Counting Crows
When Mr. Jones came out, everyone and their mom bought this record. I wasn’t really into them when they first came out, so it stayed under the radar for me for a while. My good friend Alla owned the album, and would play it often whenever I would hang out with her. Once I stopped being obnoxious and really listened to it I realized that not only is this album catchy as hell but also really beautiful. Regardless, I never bought the album. I borrowed it from so many people that I was able to learn all the songs without ever actually owning it. Then I borrowed it from this girl Kelly my senior year of school and then conveniently “forgot to give it back to her”, making it a permanent addition to my collection. Oops…my bad.
Every song on this album evokes a different feeling to me. However, with the exception of “Mr. Jones” and “Rain King”, these feelings are all sad or depressing. My personal favorite song on the album, “Anna Begins”, is unbelievably feeling provoking for me. The song deals with the transition from being just “friends with benefits” to a relationship and the ultimatum “it’s all or nothing.” I myself have been in this situation and it ultimately ended very badly. Anyway this is an amazing album, perfect for those rainy days, and for very long train rides.
Best Songs on the Album- “Anna Begins”, “Perfect Blue Buildings” and “Rain King”
“When kindness falls like rain, it washes me away and Anna begins to change her mind. And every time she sneezes I believe its love, and oh lord, I’m not ready for this sort of thing.”

“Lucky”- The Goops
“Who?,” you may be asking yourself. The Goops are an AMAZING band, fronted by hard rocking, neo-Debbie Harry’esq Eleanor Whitledge. For those of you who are a fan of the movie “Mallrats”, they do the cover of “Build Me Up Buttercup” playing during the elevator scene. I was always a fan of that cover, and while looking in a bin of cheap c.d’s at Bleaker Bob’s around 1999 I found “Lucky.” I popped it in when I got back home, and my mind was completely blown. This c.d. is fast paced and amazing. The Goops are just as good, if not better, than other girl fronted punk bands like Tilt and Tsunami Bomb. Listening to it really makes you want to fuck shit up.
The songs on this c.d. deal with mainly sex and relationships, so as you all guessed I can relate to the songs very well. Ms. Whitledge sings with just the right amount of girlyness to her angst that her voice is both beautiful and extremely kick ass. The guitars are deep and loud with plenty of tasty licks to satisfy even the metal loving folks out there. If you want your head blown off by a kick ass chick…get this album.
Best Songs on the Album- “Change Your Mind”, “One Kiss Left”, “You Wish” and “Hard Candy”
“I don’t wanna be like you, cause I don’t think you’re bullet proof.”

“Pinkerton”- Weezer
After the huge success of the Blue Album, which is an amazing album, Weezer followed up with “Pinkerton”, which did not sell very much. Rivers Cuomo, devastated by the flop of this album, decided to stop making music for a while and decided to go to Harvard University. What is funny about this is that Pinkerton is by far and away Weezer’s BEST album. The albums which came after “Pinkterton” were not even half as good as it is. Not many people know about this album, which is incredibly unfortunate. I do not remember when I bought this album, but I can say that I don’t know how I lived without it. All the songs on this album are amazing. It is one of the only albums that I can listen to without skipping tracks. It is the most overlooked album I’ve known, because of the recent success of their new albums, as well as the huge following accumulated by the blue album.
The songs are not as poppy as the songs on Weezer’s other albums, but that may be why I love this album so much. There are many memories which come to me when I listen to this c.d. I remember playing “Why Bother?” at an open mic night in high school. My friend Will and I used to sing “El Scortcho” to each other on the phone when either of us were in a bad mood. I used to sit on the grass when it was warm out and play “Butterfly” over and over again. This c.d. reminds me of nothing but good times. Make it yours if you don’t have it, its one of the best investments you could make.
Best Songs on the Album- “Butterfly”, “Across the Sea”, “Pink Triangle”, “Why Bother?” and “El Scorcho”
“Everyone’s a little queer, can’t you be a little straight? I’m dumb she’s a lesbian. Thought I had found the one. We we’re good as married in my mind, but married in my mind’s no good. Pink triangle on her sleeve let me know the truth.”

Until next time, life, love and lollipops!

Tangled Up in Bleu

I suffer from chronic foot in mouth syndrome when it comes to music. More than often I will judge music before I even listen to it because..well..i’m an idiot and a snob when it comes to music. It is very rare that I admit my problem, so what you are about to read is a very rare treat.
I had gotten my tickets for Phantom Planet a month before the actual concert. The day I found out they were playing at my school I almost cooed out loud with delight. I have been a fan of Phantom Planet since senior year in high school, and was in ecstasy that they chose my school to play at while on tour to promote their new album.
The night of the concert I bounded into the auditorium dragging my buddy Erin with me. I could hardly contain my excitement. On the ticket there was no mention of an opening band, just Phantom Planet. I was so excited for them that I was shocked AND dismayed to see that there were two sets of drums on stage. Fuck, I thought, an opening band. I heard murmurs about someone named Blue..or something to that effect. I turned to Erin, and in my snide Nina way said, “Fucking opening band. This is going to fucking suck. I fucking hate stupid opening bands taking me away from my phantom planet.” And Erin just laughs…not sure if it was with me or at me, but she laughs. As the lights dim and the audience clap some jackass sitting behind me yells “You’re my boy Blue!” Great, I think, not only am I going to have to sit through some shitty opening band but there’s a loudmouthed asshole behind me.
The band took the stage, looking like a usual band these days. Bleu (not Blue) McCauley, the main dude on the stage of dudes, is exactly what you’d imagine him to be; Tall, skinny, wild curly hair, huge sideburns taking up almost all his face, sporting an old man cardigan. The other guys in the band fit every stereotype in the indie rock scene. The bassist with the buddy holly glasses, the dreadlocked keyboardist, the other guitarist with shaggy black hair wearing a size-too-small thrift store t-shirt, and the drummer with a big white ‘fro. Before they played even one note I was ready for suckyness to begin. Bleu first chatted with the audience a bit. He was kinda funny, seemingly friendly, and he seemed very excited to be there. I was impressed by his repartee with the audience, but could they play? Probably not, I thought.
They started playing, and at first I didn’t want to really hear them. I had this preconceived notion that I would hate them and that nothing they play would be good. After song two it hit me…Shit…this guy can sing…and the songs are catchy…I LOVE IT! I put aside the embarrassment that I talked all this shit about how I liked it, and I just got into it. The performance was just incredible. Every song was amazing, and Bleu really proved himself, at least to me, that he is an extremely talented musician and songwriter.
During the break between bands I went outside to the merch table to get the c.d. Standing at the table was Bleu himself, signing posters and other various things. I waited in line, bought my c.d. and then had a chance to get a poster signed by him, and he was really nice and funny and warm. I was so excited to be able to go home and listen to the c.d. and see if he’s just as good on the c.d. as he was live. (Phantom Planet was incredible by the way, but that’s not what this article is about.)
Bleu’s c.d., “Redhead” is a high energy, fun, and enjoyable album. Bleu has had a few of his songs appear in movies, and these songs appear on the c.d. “Somebody Else” is on the Spiderman soundtrack, “Trust Me” is featured in Against the Ropes and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton. There are many catchy rock-out anthems (“Get up”, “Could Be Worse”) as well as some sweet slow songs (“Searching For Satellites”, “Watching You Sleep”.)
I couldn’t really tell you who he sounds like, but if you like Pete Yorn, Rufus Wainwright, The Counting Crows, or The Gin Blossoms, you’d really enjoy Bleu. Even if you don’t like those bands, I’d suggest check him out, you may like him.
Don’t be like me, give him a chance!
Suggested Listening:
“Trust Me” “That’s when I Crash” “I Wont Go Hollywood” “Get Up”
Web Site:
http://www.bleutopia.com
Rating
4.5 stars out of 5

28 Days Later

Even thought we cling to the idea that only Hollywood blockbusters are the dominating force in movies that are deemed “good”. From my experience, this simply isn’t true. Many films come out of the indies with new styles of direction, a different perspective on filmmaking and a dose of life into innovation. The Blair Witch Project. Equilibrium. May.

And now 28 Days Later.

Let’s get an idea of what this movie is about. Many call it a zombie movie. The movie is similar to a zombie movie in many ways – a outbreak of a virus results in the collapse of civilization as blood-hungry “infected” overrun the cities. The movie’s version of zombies are different from the common conception – no slow, stumbling decayed people screaming “Brains!”. They’re infected with the virus, but didn’t die, so they’re not hindered by decayed flesh and muscle, so they don’t stumble – they run at you.

As you might have noticed, my policy with this column is not to give away much of the movie’s plot. I want you to go find out yourself. I won’t waste your time with trash movies, so don’t fear. Trash in, trash out, get it?

The movie is unique in that it holds the audience’s tension from the very beginning to the very end. It simply doesn’t let go. There not much special effects. It’s all low-budget. But it’s very, very gory – that means alots of blood here, folks – and the film quality is a bit poor. Maybe it’s a technical thing, maybe it’s the decision of the director. Either way, it fits the movie very well. They actually made two endings for the movie – one happy and one not-so-happy. The happy one is shown with the movie originally because they felt that we, the viewers, prefer happy endings in movies. I would frown down on that, but I don’t mind that much, since they did release the original director’s ending later, and on the video/DVD they included both endings. So it’s all good.

Do go and see this movie, folks. It’s a bit late for halloween, but there’s always a time for scary movies. At least for me there always are.

As usual, I kept the column short in hopes that you’ll actually read it all, instead of just reading the first paragraph, and heading right to the *cough* forums.
Good night all.

Take care,
Raven

Ravenous Movie Rants

Well. I’m back after a hiatus. I’m sure none of you missed me, but that goes without saying.

I’ve decided, under the circumstances, to turn this column into a bi-weekly one. If I keep it weekly, I’ll be booted off the writing staff faster than you can say “COW MILK!”

And as you can see, I’ve decided on a title for this column (in no way is it definite, by the way… I was thinking “Raven is Wrong, You are Right”, but Runty wouldn’t allow it), and as you can see, I’ve decided to focus this column on movies in general, from the ancient silent black-and-white movies to the latest releases, I’ll be ranting about any movies under the sun.

And today, I’m going to talk about a fairly recent movie: Daddy Day Care.

Eddie Murphy, a famous comedian and actor, had been on a downturn in the recent years. To be blunt, his recent films sucked.

But along came Daddy Day Care. The movie is actually decent, and funny. Humor for all ages is the ticket for Eddie it seems. The adult humor movies Eddie attempted in the past few years blew chunks. But the “for-all-ages” funnies, Murphy soared. If I’m his manager, I’d encourage him to continue the trend Daddy Day Care resurrected.

Anyway, back to DDC, it’s a movie about two guys who fall on hard times after being laid off from a well-paying job. They get the brilliant idea of forming a day care program to make quick cash. Well they soon find out that it’s not as easy as they thought. Plus they got a prestigious preschool education “institute” on their back for actually competing with them.

I actually enjoyed the movie, counter to my expectations. I caught this on the university movie channel, and thought, what the hell and watched it. Not bad at all. If you like Eddie Murphy, and remember the days when he’s actually decent, watch this movie.

Raven out.

Minesweeper!

Ooh, what a pretty bunch of blocks! Shall I click one of those?! *CLICK! Several blocks disappear!* WHOA! Let’s make more blocks disappear! *CLICK! Some more blocks disappear* Yeah! I’m winning! I’m the greatest. Player. Of the greatest. Game. Ever!!! *CLICK! BOOM! You lose! Retry?* I LOST?! This game sucks! Worst. Game. Ever! *Throws computer out of the window*.

A message from one of our sponsors? Yeah that’s the ticket.

Anyway… I just read that there’s a film festival somewhere in California, and they wanted to show a couple of films representing a decade, and one of the films they picked for the 1970’s is Star Wars. And guess what? Ole’ George Lucas wouldn’t let them show it unless it’s the special edition. Not the original one.

What kinda bull is that?

I remember Star Wars fondly. I was a late comer to the Star Wars saga – hey I wasn’t even born when it came out – but I saw it at a young age, and I thought it was the greatest thing to flicker at me from the tube. And I watched it again during the summer, and it’s still one frickin’ great movie. I got that original VHS tape set. Glad as hell that I did too.

Everyone in America knows Star Wars. Luke Skywalker, acted with horrible talent by Mark Hamill is still awesome. When bad acting is awesome, it gotta be something special, and good ol’ Luke is one of those. And we have the bad ass villain. Darth Vader stole the whole screen whenever he is on, with his awesome voice and corny as hell but still bad ass dialogue (“your lack of faith disturbs me.” aw, that was awesome).

And now good old George went and re-did the trilogy in a special edition extravanza. Fans complained, moaned and bitched. And cheered at the same time. Sure, there’s some bull in there – Han Solo shot first, not Greedo, dammit – but hey, it’s a nice touch, ya know? As long as we keep our old movies, the new ones can’t hurt. Right? Right? WRONG!

Now George is trying to erase all memories of the original trilogy. You want the originals on DVDs? Dream on, the closest thing you’ll get is the special editions – Greedo shoots first and all.

And man, that blows ass. If old George releases a uber-DVD set that includes the original AND the enhanced edition, that’d be just sooo sweet. Hell, if he releases the originals and the special editions in separate DVDs, I’ll buy them both. I’m sure many people will do that. So why not? I mean it means more $$$ for our George there!

It just sucks that George is trying to change film history. He’s trying to do something that is impossible – Star Wars is a huge part of many of our childhood, and it’s not going away anytime soon. I bet you that as soon as George dies, the studio’ll release the originals. Just you wait.

If you still have the old VHS tapes, or the laserdisc version (you lucky dog!), clutch on it. Cuz it’s not gonna be re-released anytime soon.

Raven out.

May is a *CENSORED* nutcase!

Well, welcome back, my friends, to my unnamed column. The raven comes down to the bleak land of music and sets up his hut of enlightenment into things that are not music.

First things first, I’d like to remind you… Equilibrium. If you didn’t see it yet, you don’t matter. Understand? Go. See it. Now.

Today, I want to talk about a film I’ve seen yesterday on the university movie channel. This film, my friends, is called “May”.

This here film is about a girl named May, who, as the title says, a fucking nutcase. I’m not going to bore you with a list of actor names – if you’re interested, just hit “May” on Amazon or something and find out.

Anyway, as I was saying, May is a nutcase. This film starts out a comedy-drama-romantic movie. But don’t be fooled, boys and girls, for this is a comedy not. As you watch the movie, you slowly figure out how fucking disturbed May is. A doll given to her by her mother, shown in the beginning of the movie, is the symbol of her disintegrating mental, well, saniness. The doll is incased in a box with a glass window – cuz it’s valuable and stuff – and this glass slowly cracks throughout the movie, representing May’s mind. May is a weird young woman who works at a animal hospital as an assistant, and sews in her own free time. The movie starts as she saw a guy she liked, and stalks him. She eventually got a date out of him, and got him to like her. Sounds like a sappy romantic teen flick, eh? Thought so myself as well. Then things just starts to get more and more fucked up.

Now, there are major spoilers ahead. If you don’t like spoilers… Get the **** out of here, whippersnapper!

During the movie, May displays a love for certain body parts of certain people. For instance, she loved the first guy becsuse of his beautiful hands. She went all lesbian with a chick because she likes her neck. She also went out with another guy that have desirable arms. And there’s a girl that the lesbian goes out with, who have nice legs.

Well, when her doll finally went in a freakish scene including groping blind children, shattered glass and “I want to meet your friend!”, May went nuts. Frankly, I don’t blame her. Except for the fact that she is already going nuts all along. So anyway, she wants a perfect companion, so what does she do? She makes one herself. With the body parts she wanted. That’s right, she donned a freakish consume on halloween day, and went and slew all those people in turn, putting their parts in a cooler and sewing them together, making a fucked up bi-gender Frankenstein’s monster.

You gotta see it to understand why that movie fucking messed me up. In the very end, May realizes that the body couldn’t see her, so she – get this – scooped her eye out, and put it on the body’s head.

Then she laid next to it, the eye rolling off the head and falling on her cheek, and the body’s hand goes and strokes her cheek. Most. Freaky. Scene. EVER.

Jesus, you probably gotta go see the movie to realize how truly messed up it is.

And do society a favor and don’t ever, ever see this movie stoned.

(Thanks to J’s friend for that quote)

Hope you enjoyed this column. Watch “May” with caution is all I say. Don’t get caught off-guard like I did last night.

Raven out.

Where's the welcome choir?!

I repeat… where’s the welcome choir?! I’m sure many of you remember me. If you don’t, you don’t matter.

What’s this column you ask? This, my friends, is the beam of light in this horrid place. When I come to BP.com, all I see is music, music, music and some more music. It says “a new take on entertainment” right under the name, for christ’s sake! Not “a new take on music”! And thus, the raven up there have come down to save the day! Here, I deliver to you comments, reviews and plain all-out nuttiness on everything that’s NOT music. And before I start my first commentary, I’d like to clarify one thing:

I hate music.

You read that right. If you hate music haters, you would be doing yourself a favor by navigating your muse over to the forums right now.

Still here? Great. For my first column, I’d like to discuss a obscure movie that was made back in 2002 and released in theaters between December 2002 and January 2003. The release, unfortunately, was small, so I missed it. But when it came out on DVD, I was first in line in my local Best Buy. This movie, my friends, is “Equilibrium”. Never heard of it? I don’t blame you. But after reading this column, if you reject to watch it, I WILL blame you. Very much.

The setting: a future utopia where drugs are distributed to it’s citizens to suppress their emotions. The movie occurs after World War III, where the costs are huge. The government decided that to prevent future wars, the people must be emotionally suppressed. This logic follows the fact that wars are fueled by emotion; hate, fear, love and jealousy. The movie focuses on a character, Preston, who is one of the Clerics, a elite group of agents that hunt down and capture people who refuse to take the emotion-suppressing drug. The punishment is death.

I will reveal no more of the story. I want you to go and see the movie. Or else.

Now for my opinion… I think it’s obvious that I love this work of art. The film brings a innovative martial arts system called Gun Fu. It’s fighting with guns. It’s diffcult to describe, and you won’t truly understand until you see it. But let me tell you, this Preston fellow, he is the ultimate badass. The Matrix? Bah! Keanu Reeves is a pansy nancyboy compared to the Cleric. And something you’ll notice in the movie is that Preston remains a badass… right to the end. Ever been annoyed by movies where the character is portrayed as a bad ass, but close to the end, the film “reveals” his weakness, and have the villain beat him up a bit, THEN he turns all bad and blows the villain away? Not in Equilibrium. The Cleric literally came in, saw the villain and killed him. In-out. The ending is a bit anticlimatic, but fits the character very well. The directing and action in the film is amazing, considering it’s low budget. Yep, this is a low-budget film that beats the pants off the Matrix. The camera angles and settings drips style. The actors, while mostly no-name actors, did great. Christian Bale, who played Preston, was awesome. The acting also drips style. This film is all about style. There are some plot holes throughout the film, and as much as it hurts me, I will have to admit that a few of them are glaring. But the holes aside, the story is very interesting and enjoyable. There are many deep issues brought up, and you will have something to think about after the rolling credits hit.

I won’t waste any more of your time ranting about the movie today. My last message regarding this is

Equilibrium. Go see it. Now.

That’s it for today, check back next week for non-music rants.

Raven out.