Open Mic: The Freaky Nasty Version

There are some unforgettable names in the music world like Madonna and Cher. Freak Nasty may not be the classiest names, but one of the oddest ones, therefore it will stick in your mind. If they name sounds familiar, it’s probably because of their ever so freaky (and nasty) ’96 single “Da Dip.”

Now I know a lot of you are wondering the same thing: what kind of “dip” is this. At first, I thought it was a type of lip tobacco or lappy. So I put a lappy in my lip and started dancing to “Da Dip,” but vomited shortly after. I ruled out that this type of “dip” was tobacco related and that was nasty. My second thoughts were potato chip dip. So, I had a bunch of chips and dip while dancing to “Da Dip,” but I got a tummy ache and couldn’t go to the bathroom for a few days. Trust me, it was freaky nasty. The only other “dip” I thought this could be was a sexual position. So, I found a chick and decided to try it out. I put my hand up on her hip and it felt good when I dipped, she dipped, we dipped. But when she put her hand upon my hip, it didn’t feel right. It was freaky nevertheless.

I finally figured out that this type of “dip” was a dance and it had instructions. “Da Dip” was Hip-Hop’s answer to “The Electric Slide.” Let me tell you, I thought this song was bad ass. I knew all the words and memorized the dance moves. Oh yes, because of “Da Dip,” I was ready to bring it. I actually did bring it … but the pastor at my church wasn’t too pleased when I was doing “Da Dip” at one of their events. He wasn’t down with that. Freak Nasty wasn’t his cup of tea, so let’s see why you shouldn’t mix “Da Dip” with tea.

Verse 1

“Just put a little dip wit’ it, now roll those hips wit’ it,
Pop it, push it, rock it, roll it. Can’t control it? I’ll come hold it,
It’s all in fun, so take a chance,
Just get on the floor and do that dance.”

Here Freaky Nasty is, giving instructions on how to dance. It’s like the Hip-Hop “Electric Slide.” Speaking of the “Electric Slide,” it seems like I’m the only white person who doesn’t know how to do that dance. Whenever the music comes on, every white person jumps on the dance floor and starts doing the “Electric Slide” as if they choreographed it. It’s automatic and obviously, it hasn’t been programmed in my head. Personally, I kinda get a kick out of doing “Da Dip,” because it’s like grinding. Honestly, who doesn’t prefer grinding?

Verse 2

“Back again with the second verse.
It’s all clean, so I’m not gonna curse.”

Well shit, thanks for the warning. Maybe I won’t listen to the rest of this song because it’s PG rated. How you like me now, Mr. Nasty?

Verse 3

“This is my world. I’m just a squirrel,
Tryin’ to get a nut. So what’s up?”

Wow. First of all, this doesn’t even rhyme. Secondly, why are you calling yourself a squirrel? Out of all that animals, why a squirrel? They get like ran over and live in trees and some people decide to shoot at them. Thirdly, why are you trying to get some nut? Throughout this whole song, you’re telling girls to shake their bon-bons and now, you want some nut? DAMN, you’re freaky … and nasty.

I’m sorry, but after that last comment, I’ve had enough. I will admit, I put my hand upon my hip and then, I dipped and I couldn’t get up. And right now, I don’t wanna.