It’s been a while since I have actually sat down and wrote a column, but hey, it’s the summer, and that means four things, that of course, the ABC list. Alcohol, Bitches, Cigarettes, and Drugs. After all of that is overcome, it is time to get ready to knuckle down, get in that driver’s seat, and start steering the wheel again, and that is exactly what I am doing. I’m getting reorganized and re-focused once again, so sit back and relax, and be happy that the best journalist on the East Coast has returned, right where he belongs, at BP.com!
Now, you all know I will be talking about entertainment, but I think I should talk about some serious stuff too. That is how I will start out.
What kind of columnist would I be without mentioning my favorite band, Limp Bizkit, or limpbizkit? I have always been a big fan of the music, and as Fred Durst says, “I feel the positive energy man.” Whether he’s too doped up to actually feel positive energy of not, there is no denying that the LB has certainly affected out lives. Right now, they are on tour with Metallica, Linkin Park, Deftones, and Mudvayne and throwing, what I hear is a killer show in Summer Sanitarium 2003. Bottom line is this, you can say what you want about them, but the bottom line is that no mater how good or bad they are, they will DEFINETELY have a new album coming out. Expect the album to drop in stores in October 2008.
Also, expect the title to be something really, really long and something really, really odd.
I was watching one of my favorite shows, Jimmy Kimmel Live, and on the show was this 5 Year-Old Black Rapper named, “Lil Maxo.” This really bothered me. I mean like, why is this kid getting all this exposure? There are so many talented artists out there, and the spotlight is being given to this kid who can’t even ride in a car seat? I mean, he’s way too young to be in music, let alone, the rap scene. I mean, this kid won’t be talkin’ about “Bitches + Ho’s” but more like “Bert + Ernie.” I’m sorry, but I doubt this kid writes his own stuff and his voice is terrible. I just hate seeing people like, “Lil Bow Wow” and “Lil Romeo” get famous for not having any skill. These people should be in like Nursery School or Daycare, holding a rattle, not a microphone. The Bear says this: Go to school and understand the words you spit before you spit them. Seriously, you punks still suck on bottles shouldn’t be allowed to rap.
MTV has released it’s nominations for the annual 2003 MTV Video Music Awards. Leading the way was everyone’s favorite spare tire, Missy Elliot, with eight nominations. Justin Timberlake followed with seven nods for his song where he moans about his lost love, “Cry Me A River.” As we draw near the Awards, I will write a special “Open Mic,” with my picks on who will win.
Speaking of Music Tele Vision (Get it, M T V), I need to address something that pisses me off. What the hell is going on with the MTV VJs? It’s no secret that I really want become a VJ, I think that is highly known, but look at the current lineup of MTV VJs. You got Qudus, who look like he just walked out of a GAP Commercial. I mean, he sits there, smiles, looks like the dumb monkey he is, and has no personality. Then, you have someone named Hillary, who seems like a powder chick (for all those not familiar with the term, it means cokehead.) Then, there is Sway. I’ll admit, this cat has street smarts, but I don’t think he can pronounce any words clearly. He talks like he has a freakin’ muzzle in his mouth. I’m lucky if I can understand the message he is trying to mutter. La La has spunk, but all she wants is some ass, flat out. She works free for MTV or something just to be next to some famous guy. You know she is doing something for him after the show, or something like that. The only props I am giving out to an actual VJ is Carson Daly and Jim Shearer. Many people give Carson a bad rep, but heck, being a VJ ain’t all fun and games. I mean, he’s been around and he is quick on his toes, plus unlike other VJs, he has energy, personality, and good conversation skills that got him his late night show, “Last call with Carson Daly.” Jim Shearer is goofy, no doubt, but hell, the guy has one thing most of the rest lack: He is happy to be there, working for MTV. I mean, his passion is so noticeable, it is crazy.
I miss people like Matt Pinfield, Bill Belamy, and Ricki Raehtmen, because people like them helped pave the way to be a cool and respectful Video Jockey. As far as the MTV news Correspondents they are all very cool.
Speaking of Ricki, I have been watching his old show, Headbangers Ballroom and I am glad the network brought the show back, even if it is on MTV2. Pretty much, the show is two hours of your favorite rock and metal tunes, and it exposes a realm of hardcore metal that doesn’t get much exposure on mainstream television. It gives those artists a chance to show their musical background, plus special guests. Rob Zombie hosted it for a while before turning it over to Hatebreed singer, Jamie Jasta, but I mean, Jasta seems cool but I think he’s really nervous in front of the camera. He’s too mellow out. Seriously, someone poke him with a stick maybe throw a pie in his face! For Christ Sakes, this guy needs to stop being so quiet! Throw me a frickin’ bone! Anyways, on August 2nd, Motorhead and Iron Maiden will be on the show. Check it out.
We are getting to the very end of the column, but right now, I would like to re-introduce a tradition I once lost, and this my friends, is the Song of the Week. Every week, when this column is posted, you will be seeing the Official Open Mic Song. This week’s song goes to The White Stripes for “Seven Nation Army.” I picked this song for many reasons. The first of which is that this song has been doing very well on the Billboard Charts for the past few weeks. Secondly, I love this song. And lastly, I feel that the White Stripes are in fact underrated as a band. They are a two-piece band that is just cranking out the tunes. Their style is very original and very creative, and I feel that their style could lead some sort of revolution, if in fact it hasn’t already. This is one band that will be around for a very long time to come, no doubt about that!
Hey, this just in: Jerry Falwell is still a lardass! Alright, you can mover along to the next line now
I’m about to get going, but if you are looking around for a new album to buy, let me suggest to you Wulfgang’s latest, “Unleash the Beast.” I remember meeting these guys back in January. I heard some of the stuff on the album, and let me tell you, what I have heard is wicked. Check ’em out at Wulfgang.com. Another band you may remember is Depswa. I interviewed the lead singer, Jeremy Penick not too long ago and he sounded ecstatic about his band’s status. Their album, “Two Angels and a Dream,” is out, so check out Depswa.com. They are also on Ozzfest right now!
Lastly, BaloolaPalooza.com will be having a makeover writing the next few weeks. The look of the site will change as well as the way we function. We truly will become the voice of the people as we turn into an Vocal Website, specializing in columns, reviews, and interviews. We will also be adding a feature called the Great Debate. This feature will have a statement and two courageous fans will take sides and present arguments and responses. They will alternate and the procedure will take 15 days, but you, the people of BP.com will get to decide who wins. The future for BP.com is looking very bright, so get in on it and spread the good word. And after you spread a good word, drink a beer, smoke a butt, and party. Until next Monday, I’m Bear Frazer.
If you would like to send me a letter and have it published in “Open Mic with Bear Frazer,” then email me at email@example.com