Recommended Download: The Used – Alone This Holiday
‘Tis the season for giving. It most certainly is. Most people give to the less fortunate, and that includes myself usually. However, being the rebel that I am, I’m gonna do something different this year. I’m gonna give Christmas gifts to people who can afford them. I’m gonna give gifts to famous people. They might be rich. They might be famous. But trust me, they need help more than you’d ever expect.
Jay Z – I’m gonna give him a copy of his debut album, Reasonable Doubt. Maybe if he hears what a great album this is, he’ll realize what shit he’s been putting out lately and make another one like it.
Andre of Outkast – I’m giving him a whole new wardrobe. I saw his latest video, and I’m sure he’s tired of wearing his Grandfathers hand-me-downs.
Britney Spears – Aside from my address and key to my house that I mailed to her, I’m gonna give her a muzzle for Christmas. Afterall, we’d rather her to be seen and not heard. Am I correct fellas? Oh, I’m giving Christina Aguilera the same thing. Shhhh, don’t tell Britney.
Fred Durst – I’m gonna give this guy a fucking clue. Don’t get me wrong, I like most of Limp Bizkit’s music. However, when your own fans begin throwing objects at you and causing you to need stitches, something isn’t quite right.
Chris Carraba of Dashboard Confessional – I don’t know how, but I’m gonna find this guy some fucking testicles. The poor, whiny bastard seems to be missing a set.
Eminem – He gets a gift certificate for a tattoo and I’m gonna recommend that he goes with a middle finger on his forehead. With all of the people trying to bring him down, he’s gonna need an extra one.
Master P – A career. I saw him on his sons television show on Nickelodeon the other day. Resorting to kids shows tells me he isn’t doing to well. I guess if he gets really desperate, he could always pawn some of his gold teeth.
Andy Dick – A big sign in his front yard which reads, YOU ARE NOT FUNNY! YOU ARE AN IDIOT! Hey, someone needs to tell him.
Okay, so I was just trying to fill space and be funny with those. But you have to admit, some of them are kind of true.
Okay, don’t. At least pretend to laugh. Please?
Congratulations to the Muncie, Indiana band, Oblique, on winning the Battle of the Bands last week. Be sure and head over to their web site and check them out. Oblique
AFI have posted a new video on their site. The video is for the song Silver and Cold from their album, Sing the Sorrow. You can check it out here. I saw this on MTV during the All Things Rock countdown as well. It’s a pretty cool video.
On a final note, am I the only one glad to see Ice Cube, WC, and Mack 10 reforming as Westside Connection once again? I sure hope not. The first album was great, and if the first single from their new one is any indication, it should be just as good.
Thanks for reading. Until next time, I’m out.