The Gut: Terrell Owens

The Gut: Terrell Owens

This version of the gut will be a little different than my normal column. It will be in the form of a letter to former 49ers receiver Terrell Owens.

Dear Mr. Owens,
I would like to start off that I am a big fan of your work. While most would point to your incident in Dallas where you spiked the ball after scoring a touchdown or the famous sharpie incident in Seattle and say those were disrespectful I would disagree. I find those incidents and others like it; the Joe Horn cell phone touchdown comes to mind, quite comical. Nothing more than some clean fun at the expense of your opponent. If they didn’t want you to celebrate they shouldn’t have let you into the end zone to begin with.
The meaning of my letter however is not to praise you but to ask you a favor. Shut the hell up Mr. Owens. You were recently traded to the Baltimore Ravens and you were quoted as saying that you wont play for them because they had no right to trade for you because you feel you should be able to pick where you can go. Well Terrell that right is only for free agents, which is something thanks to your bonehead agent you are not. It isn’t the NFL’s job or the 49ers job to file for your free agency, it is that guy you pay 2% of your salary to. But you seem to be blaming everyone but him. I’m pretty sure it will somehow be my fault that you can’t join the Eagles because I wrote this letter.
For the longest time now I haven’t been able to figure out why you haven’t blamed your agent and fired him. Then it hit me. It’s ok to blame the Niners because they drafted you, you didn’t pick them. You did however pick your agent, if you blame him you will indirectly be blaming yourself. Athletes of your stature don’t take responsibility for themselves because you feel like you are infallible. Well Terrell I have news for you, this is your agents fault and you picked him, there I said it, it’s your fault. So do us a favor and be a man, admit that you and your agent made a mistake. Get your ass to Baltimore to take your physical and prey Ray Lewis doesn’t beat your brains in during the first mini camp. You have already made more money than you will ever need; now you are just being greedy. Thank you for your time.

2 replies on “The Gut: Terrell Owens”

  1. hahaha… great idea!! i really liked the letter, it was very funny and quite unique. you are quite the writer nowadays… one crit: you have some grammatical errors in your article… comma’s and such. i usually have a few in mine too, but i’m trying to work on being more professional. just for future referrance, do an extra proof read before you post. the article was very strong… and having perfect grammar can only make it stronger. just a thought. good job though!

  2. i hate how you’ve turned me into a sports fan you fucker!

    no seriously this was awesome… we need to spread this around and try to get his attention with it, lol i would just love to deal with an angry football player bitching at us, lol.

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