Is nothing sacred?

First Joan Jett, now this?

According to Dlisted, Britney Spears is looking to cover Blondie’s “Atomic” on her next studio album. Surely I’m not the only one who sees what this is: A desperate grasp to regain relevancy and her stardom after trashing her image so terribly for the last few years. Britney, luv… it’s over. Call it a night and go out quietly. Please? Stay far away from my new wave / punk legends.. thank you.

Even if she could regain popularity it would be shortlived and not very profitable. Digital music sales have made her a dinosaur, she’d have to make around 13 awesome hot selling tracks just to recoup what they will spend on the production / marketing for her these days. In the digital download world the one track wonders are worthless.

This is something I discussed back in 2004 in my interview with Pat Thetic of Anti-Flag and he called it back then:

“And I understand that, but that means you have to write good music. You know Britney Spears, God bless her, she’ll be done. Because people will be like ‘alright downloaded the one song and I don’t care about the other 9 tracks of filler. You know, that’s our responsibility as musicians. If we can’ create songs that people want to hear, then fuck us, we’re not worth being around anyway.”

Just ask Justin Timberlake, “FutureSex/LoveSounds” has topped charts and been nominated for all sorts of awards but hasn’t made a dent in the sales numbers of 2002’s “Justified.” Or Christina Aguilera who’s last album barely made a whimper in the market compared to what she used to do. The market has changed and there isn’t room for people like Britney anymore, even if she could adapt and get her shit back together it would be too late.

I know we’ve ended at least one article on this site before with this quote but it keeps getting more and more relevant as time goes on:

“Dinosaurs will die and I do believe no one will cry. I’m just glad I’m gonna be, there to watch it fall.” – NoFX

Times have changed, and it’s going to take more than an overproduced cover single of an 80’s pop tune to bring the old days back, and frankly… a lot of us are glad to see them gone.

I’m Baaaaaaack

There was a time when this site was called ‘Baloolapalooza.com’and I was a sports writer here. Times have changed, we are Media Rebellion now. And since I stopped writing sports columns here a lot has changed. The Big Unit has come and gone from the big apple. The St. Louis Cardinals showed us there is a reason they play the games. Sidney Crosby reminded me that Hockey was still around. The 76ers traded all world guard Allen Iverson and reminded me of why I hate Philly and they still haven’t won anything since 1983, hell maybe not that much has changed.

A-Rod Overpaid?… If Mr. Posh Spice can make 50 million a year playing soccer and say he is doing it for the children of America then give A-Rod whatever he wants. At least people in this country watch his sport. And if you want to do something for the children of America can you please start by teaching them not to lie. There are 251 million reasons you are now in LA. What’s that? You thought it was just 250? Well the other one is because Tom Cruise told you to. Great, scientology how has the spice girls too.

On a lighter note pitchers and catchers report to camp in a month or so. Or in the case of the New York Mets catchers report because they sure as hell don’t have any pitching. I hear they are holding tryouts for ace of the staff, anyone have Brein Taylor’s cell phone number?

So Eagles fans, talk to me. Did you really think you were going to beat the Saints? The organization that has shown heart, determination and class. The Eagles are from a city that traded a warrior in AI, threw snowballs at Santa Clause and the most identifiable sports persona is a fictional boxer. Philly has no shot at a championship in any sport within the next 5 years. Their football team hates its quarterback, their baseball team has a good right side of the infield, an underperforming shortstop, less pitching than the afore mentioned Mets and only one good outfielder, and if you added the ratings of the basketball team and hockey team that any of the video games that come out next year, combined they wont equal AI’s points per game. I really do think they should just outlaw professional sports in Philly before they skin the Easter Bunny.

I realize that my article has shown a tremendous amount of east coast bias so here is my tribute to the rest of the country. The Saints will win the Super Bowl. Then again the Chargers were my last pick and we saw how well that went. Does anyone else get the feeling like New England is Andre the Giant and Indy is Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania 3?

Here are my picks for this weekends games:

Indy vs. New England

Well I guess: **puts on a robe and dyes hair white**
To be the man you gotta beat the man, woooooooooo!!!!!!

Seriously tho, Tom Brady is 12-1 in the playoffs and has Jabar Gaffney looking like an all pro. This guy couldn’t even make the Eagles depleted receiving core and he is catching touchdowns like he is being covered by the Giants secondary. But it’s hard to believe that Peyton Manning could have 3 poor playoff games in a row, this guy is the most prepared, professional player in the league. And he makes great commercials!

Indy has looked just bad on offense in its first 2 playoff games with the exception of Joseph Addai in the opener against the defensive powerhouse of Kansas City. The Colts have looked average and the Pats have looked good as only the Pats can. Still this is Peyton manning, even if he has looked like Eli in these last two games. I’m gonna go with Peyton and the colts over the Pats on an Adam Vinatieri field goal, 27-24.

New Orleans vs. Chicago

I don’t know that this game is even going to be close. The Bears have no offense and their Defense is shaky with DT Tommy Harris on the shelf and Tank Johnson looking over his shoulder making sure the cops aren’t arresting him between plays.

Reggie Bush and Duce McAllister are this generation Bo Jackson and Marcus Allen. And with no Al Davis to screw this up we might be in for a long run of duel running back greatness. And Drew Breese is better than any Quarterback that the raiders had back in the Jay Schrader era. Man I’d love to play Tecmo Super Bowl, those Raiders vs. these Saints. That would be a fun game! Anyway, back to the here and now. Saints 25 Bears 13.

It’s great to be back in the swing of writing and you will be hearing more and better from me in the weeks to come.